I am an asperger wife for I am married to a man who has Asperger Syndrome. We have known each other 17 years and have been married for 11 of those years.
I'd never heard of Asperger Syndrome, and never had an autistic family member, therefore it took 15 years for me to find out the reason for my husband's odd behavior. It was discovered only by accident as happens with so many. If I had known earlier, it might have been easier to handle. When you don't know what it is you're fighting, you can't possibly know how to deal with it.
Those years in the dark, left me with feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and total worthlessness. I cried many nights, thinking it was something awful about me that caused my husband's rejection, when in reality, it was AS.
I'm normally a private person, keeping things to myself, but one day I was reminded that what we learn through our trials in life should not be wasted, but used to help others. That is my hope for this website.
An NT (neuro-typical)/AS (Asperger Syndrome) relationship is never easy, no matter what you may have heard or envisioned. If you are fresh into a relationship with an Aspie, my story may open your eyes as to the difficulties that could lay ahead should you move forward. \
An NT/AS relationship can work, but it will never be what people would consider "normal." Aspies can hide their problems for awhile, but they eventually surface and it is then that the nightmare for the NT partner begins.
It is not my intent to offend any Aspies who visit this site, but I guess it's inevitable, as I open up and reveal what I've learned about my husband. While I'm aware that every Aspie is different, there are still certain characteristics that are common to all.
I am not an expert on Asperger's and can only speak from my own experience. There are many other websites that can give you information on the subject of AS itself. This website is mainly to provide support and a shoulder to lean on when someone finds themselves hurting in an NT/AS relationship.
Please stick around and join in the forum or blog discussions. Your input is appreciated. There are just two rules when commenting: 1. No profanity, and 2. Please use the Golden Rule.
Thank you for visiting.
Wishing you all the best life has to offer.
Please note: The names used have been changed to protect our privacy and to not cause embarrassment to my husband or others.
Asperger syndrome (AS) is a developmental disorder--an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), one of a distinct group of neurological conditions characterized by a greater or lesser degree of impairment in language and communication skills, as well as repetitive or restrictive patterns of thought and behavior. Unlike children with autism, children with AS retain their early language skills.
The most distinguishing symptom of AS is a child’s obsessive interest in a single object or topic to the exclusion of any other. Children with AS want to know everything about their topic of interest and their conversations with others will be about little else. Their expertise, high level of vocabulary, and formal speech patterns make them seem like little professors. Other characteristics of AS include repetitive routines or rituals; peculiarities in speech and language; socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior and the inability to interact successfully with peers; problems with non-verbal communication; and clumsy and uncoordinated motor movements.
Children with AS are isolated because of their poor social skills and narrow interests. They may approach other people, but make normal conversation impossible by inappropriate or eccentric behavior, or by wanting only to talk about their singular interest.
Children with AS usually have a history of developmental delays in motor skills such as pedaling a bike, catching a ball, or climbing outdoor play equipment. They are often awkward and poorly coordinated with a walk that can appear either stilted or bouncy. Many children with AS are often bullied by their peers.
Person’s with AS usually:
Person’s with AS may display some or all
of the following characteristics:
An Aspie relationship may be extremely
difficult, but it can work.
What God Has Promised
God has not promised
Skies always blue,
All our lives through;
God has not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
God has not promised
We shall not know
Toil and temptation,
Trouble and woe;
He has not told us
We shall not bear
Many a burden,
Many a care.
But God has promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Annie Johnson Flint